a few christmas flavored haikus.

falalalala-
fels with hummus and garlic
paste are festive, right?

dad, why does this toy
have blood, hair, and crime scene tape
all over it? dad?

remember, never
confuse stockings with stalkings.
now, leggings are cool.

according to the
santa clause, bearded men's laps
are ok for now.

'twas the night before
big j's birthday. he got drunk
and unleashed a plague.

These are the questions that haunt me

Is it such a crime

to forfeit all dignity

and save the carpet?

All things considered

So I drank my own

vomit.  Big deal.  Could be worse.

Could be frito pie.

another voting haiku

go vote tomorrow!
or shut the f up for the
next 4 years, got it?

a voting haiku

you can vote early,
or vote on november 4th.
just get off your ass.

duty.

turtle heads popping
are warning signs... nevermind.
oops, i crapped myself.

a brief haiku

what's up with undie
technology? stench defense?
what's up with that, hanes?